So this is basically Keeper of the Lost Cities
by GlowingSilverMoonlight
Summary: Well, I was inspired by some of the greatest YouTube videos of the time, so I made my own parody. Yay!


p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Meet Kingson Councillor Beautiful. He's a great source of near-obsessive pining for Pretty, until they eventually fall in love, and finally hook up by book seven-Wait, is that a spoiler? GET BACK IN THE OBLIVIOUS HOLES, YOU TWO! Probably has some deep wounds, since he's the only one who hasn't gone into excruciating detail about his past, and if you order now, you also get several creepy flashbacks that will leave you unable to be in the same room as your parents/brother for several days. Or months. Or years. Or decades. Or centuries. Or even millennia./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Wave to Fair Beautiful, Kingson's underrated sister. She's a super-fashionista, and she's in love with Handsome Sensing, until she realizes he's also in love with Pretty. Handsome kissed her once on a dare. They're both trying to forget that, and they don't want anyone to know. Pretty knows. Pretty knows everything. Except the People Don't See Us' plans. Nobody knows those. Not even the People Don't See Us./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Keep your distance from Pretty God's Oath Fostered. She's a self-insert, a Sue, and basically Elf-Bella Swan. On a field trip to the museum, she meets the cutest guy she's ever seen, named Kingson Councillor Beautiful, and she finally learns what true love means. And guess what? He likes her too, and then they hook up. After six books. FINALLY, YOU'VE BEEN TOYING WITH HANDSOME AND RIGHT-HANDED FOR WAY TOO LONG! Wait, guys, can you stop spoiling the series? She's obsessed with trying to get together with Kingson. It didn't work for six books. It worked with Handsome, though. Pretty doesn't appreciate it yet./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"This is Right-Handed Chipmunk Disney. He's really cute, but Pretty never bothered with him, because she was in love with Kingson. And he doesn't do much with the plot, except, y'know, blow up a lot of stuff. Not that that isn't awesome. Also, y'know how many fans like him better than Kingson? ∞, that's how many. Despite him being a minor character, 10/10, I would trust him with my life, and if I knew him, I'd either try to be his best friend, or set him up with Keefe. Everyone loves him, except for Christian, because she just has to be the special snowflake. /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Handsome. He has amazing hair. I mean, it's his freaking trademark. Kingson has his eyes, Twin has his bangs, Right-Handed has dimples, Pretty has her lame pun, and Handsome has his hair. Handsome is like what would happen if you combined Leo Valdez's personality with Narcissus' personality. OH, DON'T DENY IT, IT'S 100% TRUE!/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Say hi to Twin Music. His parents are trying to cover up the fact that he's a twin. His parents are absolute idiots if they really think that's gonna work when they actually named him Twin. Twin is in love with Fair, and she probably likes him back./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"And Twin's twin, Soul Music. Soul is usually shipped with a twenty-year-old. Keep in mind, she's sixteen. I'm sort of concerned. No, not sort of, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, concerned./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Runaway from the Hecks. They're terrifying. First, there's Christian. She's no good, accepting Christian. She's a little snot. Nobody knows what the Christian-Handed shippers are thinking, nor do they want to. Then there's Biscuit. She's actually pretty cool, albeit stuck-up. She delivered two ALICORNS. Lastly, there's Timbit, who is named after delicious food. He is also a member of the White Duck./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Share some gossip with Shining Sea Redhead. She's perfect. Where are her flaws? Kingson must have absorbed them from her. Too bad she's not on a single cover, which I have a petition for. #ShamelessSelfPromo ipetitions petition / marella - on - the - cover - of - kotlc - book - nine/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Okay, now let's meet Asshole Beautiful, White Fire, Brad Goose, Hostage Sensing, Red Ignite, Growling Stomach, and MLP Magician. They're all evil. Do not say this to their face. They will torture you and murder your whole family. Actually, they'd do that anyway. Wait I'm forgetting someone. Oh, yeah. Guessin'. Guessin' has no fingernails. Don't ask what happened. It's gross./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Also, there was this thing called the Hilarious Hamster Incident. We're all just here for that at this point, since we all know from now on, the story will revolve around Kingson and Pretty. Even though I think everybody would prefer it if it revolved around Right-Handed, Handsome, Twin, Fair, Soul, or Jeff. ANYONE BUT KINGSON AND PRETTY. Also, I have this sneaking suspicion that Shannon is slowly bumping up the rating for something in the last book that is definitely not for eight-year-olds./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Also, meet Goldeny and BlackWhiterise. Goldeny decided to send Pretty an image of them health-classing. Which is gross, but at least they get to reset the Family Tree of Non-Extinct Animals. Oh, also, if every creature humans have thought of is real, does that mean that, like, Wendigos are real? And now I'm scared./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"This is Alder Beautiful. He used to be dating Baraz, but then she told him there was a reason to worry, and he raged, started throwing things, it was madness, he thought it was blasphemy to say there was a reason to worry, This. IS. SPARTA!/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Oh, yeah. Mr. Fake-Old, and Mr. Fake-Old. No, that wasn't a typo, there ARE two of them. They're both grumpy. They're both the same person, but not like us. Y'know, if you really want an explanation, go read Nightfall. I'll get less of a headache. Also, they are the leaders of the White Duck. I think. Y'know, nobody ever did say who rules the White Duck./p 


End file.
